"I'm sorry, we're cash only..."

Entering a new coffee shop is like entering the local breakfast hub in a rival city wearing your team colors in the off season. It's not during the season, so emotions are lulled, a bit, but you still feel all eyes on you. You bravely enter because you'd heard some wonderful things about this place and have finally gathered enough courage to step out of your comfort zone and enter this new, to you, enigmatic refueling station which just happens to be just around the corner from your usual spot in the small college town you call home.


You've driven by several times, even went so far as to step inside once, but quickly conjured up the simplest, lamest excuse to leave and run back to "your" coffee shop, much like that security blanket that you had such a hard time giving up as a child...in fact, you never "really" gave it up, you still have it, tucked away in some drawer that you pretend you've forgotten about.
You approach the counter after sheepishly searching and finding a seat, turn to find a young lady with a puzzled look on her face leaving the spot you originally wanted but were 3 seconds too slow. You ask her without hesitating, why she was vacating that prime little morsel of real estate, because she too has that displaced look to her. You wonder for a second if, like you, she has ventured beyond the borders of her comfort zone. "Well, I just read their little notice on the tables in that section." You glance over and notice that there's one on your cramped little table as well. "Really!" "Yes" she said, "They say, in no uncertain terms, that those seats are reserved for patrons that want to use the cafe for it's "Intended Purpose," to peruse a news paper or talk with friends." "NO STUDYING, READING, COMPUTING, ETC...Violators will be banished to a lifetime of Starbucks Coffee!" For a second you appreciate the humor, but really!?! I mean really!?! you say to yourself. You should have walked out right then and there, but Doggonnit, you were there, and there you were gonna stay. After all, you weren't about to just throw all that nerve that you'd gathered over the past few years out the window! No, you were gonna have your cup of coffee, dammit! You look around and see that every other seat in the house is taken.
So, you order. "Small, lowfat, wht. mocha please." "Oh, no whipped cream please." The waitress gives you a smirkish sorta smile and looks over at the Barista, who heard you order. They give each other that "Oh great, another ignorant newbie" look. As if you weren't standing right there. Hello! You ask, "Do you add whipped cream automatically?" (like just about every other coffee establishment) "Or does the patron have to ask for it?" "Hyeah, only Starbucks does that!" she replies in her demeaning little college student "I know everything" tone. "Whatev" you think to yourself. You pull out your credit card to pay and the waitress gives you this look like you just asked for plastic bags for your groceries because you forgot your hand woven hemp bags at home, and says, "Uh, we're cash oonlyy!" cocking her head sideways as she says it. "Oh Crap!" you say. "I'm sorry." She gives you this pathetic half-assed courtesy smile as you panic because you don't know if you've got enough cash. The cortisol rushes through your body as you start to sweat.
You pay for your coffee and, feeling dejected because you didn't notice their...notice on your table and you don't feel like being "banished" before taking your first sip of their coffee, you make your way over to your "No studying allowed" table and proceed to make your way out the door to the tables outside. You tell yourself, even though it's darn cold out there, "The weather is perfect!" "I'd rather sit outside anyway." You walk back in and wait for your coffee to be made...and you wait...and then, "Ghasp" you wait a little longer. After picking up your cup of coffee you graciously thank the Barista and walk outside to your frigid table. Sit down, take out your laptop, get all situated, and take your first sip of their oh so talked about coffee and it's not any different from just about 97% of all other coffee houses and cafe's. You glance up at nothing in particular with that Garfield look on your face and without skipping a beat, your internal monologue burps out, "I should have let them banish me!"
You laugh to yourself, log onto your blog page and begin to type..."I'm sorry, we're cash only..."

Peetnik for life! Well...when I'm not roasting my own beans...